Okay, so I don’t know about you, but my inner critic shows up pretty often and especially now when I’m adventuring down new avenues in life. If you’re unsure what I mean by “inner critic,” I’m talking about that little voice that pops up in the back of your head to tell you you’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, just not enough. We’ve all got one, and it’s a voice that comes from a place of fear, rather than love. Getting past this can be a challenge. I’ve come a long way since the days I would obsess over numbers on the scale, but I’ll admit I still have days when my inner critic demands to be heard. And while it’s human nature to overanalyze, overthink and pick apart things we want to change, it’s important to remember that ultimately, our self confidence is alllll about mindset. Getting to a place where we can acknowledge that inner critic, and politely tell it to f*%# off because we’ve got better shit to do is where it’s at. It’s where we will bloom and thrive.
Nowadays, I’m spending time on far more exciting things than how I think others perceive me. Despite the negative thoughts that still creep in occasionally, goneeee are the days when I would let my low self esteem keep me from putting myself out there, having fun and living my damn life. One day I just decided— no more feeding the beast inside my own head.
So, whether you’re fixated on your body image, feeling less than confident in your career or another area in life, here are 5 actionable tips for quieting the negative self-talk, shutting down that inner critic and owning exactly who you are!
1. Recognize triggers and take action accordingly
Become fully aware of when the negative self talk starts to creep in. Are you scrolling through Instagram comparing yourself and your life to one of your idols? Is it after you indulge in a second round of dessert and feel too full to move? Whatever it may be, try and catch yourself in the exact moment and pinpoint exactly what actions lead to those nasty thoughts. Write them down and see if you can turn those negative thoughts into positive actions. For example, if you find yourself cursing your own body compared to a fitness model on Instagram, take action! Come up with a work out plan that helps you work towards your goals. If you aren’t gym-savvy (I am certainly not), seek the help of a trainer and work together to set tangible goals and create a plan to help you get there! In the mean time, find people to follow online who are in a similar place as you along their own fitness journey. Build your community around people you can relate to rather than compare yourself to. Which leads me to my next point…
2. Surround yourself with people who lift you up
Your vibe attracts your tribe, yes I do believe that! Attract the people who shine light into your life and bring love and happiness. Give no time to the people who make you feel bad about yourself. I’ve personally had to learn this one the hard way. During a rough time, it become apparent to me who had my well-being in mind and who only brought more stress into my life. There’s no need to keep that energy around, and there’s no need to feel remorse for cutting people like that out of your life, either. Who you surround yourself with matters. The energy you allow into your space matters. Create a tribe of supportive, loving and inspiring people that you can grow and celebrate with. Forget the rest.
3. Change your perspective
Perspective is key! When your inner critic comes out, speak to yourself the way you would a close friend. If somebody you love was beating themselves up and claiming they aren’t good enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, what would you tell them? Care about yourself the same way you do your best friend. Reframe your mindset. You may hate your “thick” thighs today, but aren’t you grateful for your strong legs that allow you to run, jump, dance, do yoga, etc!? Positive thinking, my friends. It goes a long way.
4. Accept the reality that Nobody is perfect
If you are striving for perfection, spoiler alert, you’ll never be happy. Perfection doesn’t exist. We are all imperfect, and once you get right with that concept, you’ll feel quite the weight lifted off your shoulders. We’re not robots made in some lab of “perfection.” We’re human. Imperfectness is our natural state. And everybody has something that they’re self-conscious about. Think about that fitness model you admire— you compare yourself to her because you believe she’s “flawless,” but maybe she looks in the mirror and gets bummed because she hates her hair. Or her eyes. Or her nose. Or one of the million other little things we nit pick ourselves for (that are all actually beautiful). My point is that anybody can struggle with self-confidence issues.
5. Make Positive self-talk a habit
Compliment yourself. A lot. Like 20 times a day. Tell yourself how great your butt looks in those yoga pants, or how cute your hair looks curled. This is not narcissistic, people, it’s just goood, old fashioned self-love! After about a week of intentionally sweet talking yourself, that inner critic will quiet down. You’ll start to notice your unintentional thoughts gradually shifting to become more positive and uplifting. Maintain this self-love practice and you’ll be walking around with confidence and sunshine beaming from your face!
While I still experience negative thoughts creeping in occasionally, I feel so much more confident and more self-aware than I have in the past. And I truly don’t want to waste one more minute or ounce of energy feeling bad about myself and talking down to myself. I don’t think I speak for just me when I say that I want to live my days feeling good, feeling comfortable in my skin and surrounded by a tribe who wants the same. At the end of the day, our inner critic will quiet down when we limit the energy spent on fueling it’s fire, shift your mindset and focus on the things that make ya happy!
Sending all love,