"comparison is the thief of joy" theodore roosevelt
I made this blog based on keeping it real with y'all and all things wellness. So today, I want to talk about something that I see people struggle with all the time, including myself. Comparison.
Since starting my blog, I’ve noticed more than ever my own struggle with comparison. Every day I would find somebody in the blogosphere with more engagement, better topics, or gaining an income from their blog. I want to be inspired by other ladies out there killing this online entrepreneurship game, but instead I found myself feeling jealous and overwhelmed. I quickly realized that this way of living was going to send me into spiral after spiral of self-doubt and negativity, so I made the conscious decision to tackle this beast. It’s a work in progress, and probably will be for a while yet, but since I started consciously making the effort to stop comparing myself to others, I feel more successful, inspired and generally more HAPPY.
Comparison only has harmful effects on our self value, confidence & love. And in today's world, it's way too easy to get caught up in comparing our own journey to someone else's- To scroll through someone's Instagram feed and wish we were half as flexible as that yogi, as built as that fitness instructor, or as put together as this mama juggling 3 kids & two cups of coffee seems to be. Everyone seems to have their shit together, right?
It’s only human to think this way sometimes, but in these moments it’s important to remember that everybody is in a different place on their journey. We’re exactly where we are supposed to be, and our own windy path may look different than someone else’s. So, when you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remember these few things—
It's Going To Stunt Your Own Growth
If you're focused on what somebody else is doing, it's taking away from the time you could be spending on your own shit. Quit wasting precious time! While you’re busy comparing yourself to online idols or celebrities, days are just passing you by when you could be, i don’t know, developing the next big phone application, writing the next big radio hit or whatever else it is you’re passionate about!
There's Always More To Someone's Story
We hear a lot about the little highlight squares on Instagram. But do we fully grasp the concept that that's exactly what they are- the highlights? We never truly see somebody’s whole story and we don’t know what it took for them to get to the place they’re in. You’re comparing yourself to somebody’s highlight reel meanwhile disregarding reality. That’s pretty silly. In real life, building a brand or business takes a LOT of perseverance and hard ass work — this is the behind the scenes stuff, people! The squares don't show us the pressure and anxiety that’s bound to arise periodically. Because why would they? Stress is not pretty, and sure as hell not photogenic???
You Won't Gain Anything, But You May Lose something
Your pride, dignity, drive, happiness and passion are all at risk when you fall into the downward spiral of comparison. Take it from me— comparing yourself to someone else will add absolutely no value, meaning or fulfillment to your life. It will only distract you further from your own purpose and goals.
You're In Complete Control
Why envy somebody else's lifestyle when you have the ability to build a life that you LOVE? There's really nothing stopping you from diving into it head first and making your dreams a reality. You could literally start right now!
You’re letting someone else define YOUR success
Success means something different for all of us. The only way to feel truly satisfied and successful on your own terms is to discover your true passions here. Determine your dreams, goals & deadlines. What works for someone else will not necessarily apply to your own life, and that’s fine. Create your own dream life, your own dream achievements and stick to them. Do not get distracted and overwhelmed by other people’s successes, if anything, be supportive of others chasing their dreams, too!
it will make you Resentful
Comparison, 10/10 times will always lead to resentment. Whether you hold resentment for yourself or someone else, that shit does not serve us! Let it go and set yourself free. (PS- read more about why you should drop resentments here.)
Each and every one of us has something different to offer this world, and the world needs it! Don't let your ego hold you back from putting yourself and your work out there. Instead, become intimately aware of your own success and abilities. Whether you are an artist, a writer, a fitness instructor, a yogi, a mother, a teacher, etc., you have such a unique perspective and unique gifts. This is why when we strive to be the best versions of ourselves, we're not only doing it FOR ourselves, but for the benefit of others, as well.
The world needs exactly what YOU have to offer it. So do us all the favor and start paying attention to how you view yourself! Become consciously aware when you start to compare yourself to others and find a healthier, more uplifting alternative to motivate yourself and follow your true path.
Sending love & light